20130807

PACKING 101: HOW TO STUFF YOUR WHOLE LIFE INTO TWO SUITCASES AND A HANDBAG

1:1 Walk into your room.
 Alright. Time to start. Ok maybe I'll just quickly check Tumblr first.

*45min later
2:1 Place computer on your bed.
     Okay that's it I'm starting now seriously.
2:2 Look at shit laying on your floor and take a deep, frustrated breath.
     Ok bitch it's all your fault. Get to it now. Go. GO! DO IT BITCH.

3:1 Turn on music. Not that playlist. The other one. Sing along (terribly)
     Ooh a facebook notification!!!
3:2 Check facebook.

4:1 Look at shit still laying on the floor. Realise that the floor is really dirty. Get hoover in your room.
     Oh but I can't hoover this yet cos the floor is full of clothes. And shite.

5:1 Place suitcase on bed. Take a piece of clothing in your hand and look at it.
      I might wanna wear this fecker tonight or in 5 minutes or tomorrow.
5:2 Put piece of clothing to the closet.
      Repeat 5 times.

6:1 Change song. Bastille doesn't suit the moment.
6:2 Lay face down on the floor and cry in desperation.

7:1 Go downstairs and make tea.
7:2 Go back upstairs.
7:3 Forget about tea.

8: Repeat paragraph 5 twice.
8:1 Find an item that you can pack.
8:2 Shove item into suitcase.
8:3 Take item out, roll it tightly and place it neatly into suitcase.
      Repeat six times.
8:4 Feel good and productive
     Time for Tumblr as a reward yay!!!  
8:5 Spend an hour on Tumblr.

9:1 Pick up clothes, roll them and place them neatly in suitcase.
9:2 Feel productive
     Damn I'm good at this

10:1 Realise that you also have other things besides clothes that you need to pack.
10:2 Roll toilet paper around random items and place them in suitcase.
10:3 Smile contentedly.

11:1 Repeat paragraph 5

12:1 Look at shit on the floor and the bed, window sill and such places.
        I'm still gonna need that crap. 
12:2 Sit on bed.
12:3 Take computer
12: 4 Check facebook, Tumblr, Twitter.
12:5 Smile contentedly.
        I'll take it from here tomorrow

13:1 Go shopping for craploads of Taytos and Oreos.

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